22 May 2024 – The Healing Garden Newsletter

Hello, my people!!

Welcome!

Before we get started, I want to share with you this! Last night and this morning, I just created The Healing Garden Welcome Packet for the Crew of the HMS Slush Brain! (This Newsletter list). It includes Peace Offerings, Gifts, and is filled with all sorts of goodies to welcome you warmly into The Healing Garden! [Link Available for Newsletter Subscribers Only] We provide you with a tour and a full walk through on everything that The Healing Garden is and does! If you have not yet done so, definitely take a look at this!

Yesterday, I said, “This begins the “fine line” of your Self-Control vs. The Control of Others (Which we will discuss tomorrow).”

No matter how well you plan, shit hits the fan…” Plan for the worst so that you can overcome the obstacles, – No exceptions…

My daughter just finished Of Mice and Men this morning and Steinbeck drives me nuts! Every one of his books provides the message, “No matter how much you may plan, things don’t go as planned” and then the book ends and “you lay down and die.”

THAT is NOT how you manage life.

Please do not learn from Steinbeck. There is a whole second part to this that no one ever talks about.

It is misinformation when we say, “Fear Response is Fight or Flight.”

No. That is not “Fear Response.” That is SELF-PRESERVATION. It is healthy and good that we flee and/or fight.

Fear Response is actually Fawn (Disguise and go along with the crowd), Flop (Shut down and go catatonic), or Freeze (Deer in the headlights).

But there is another, never talked about, option. Analysis of the Self that asks, “How did I get myself into that situation?” and “How can I prevent that situation from happening in the future?”

Then Problem Solving the situation so you can ensure that it never happens again. THIS is Self-Authority. This is Responsibility.

I call this Deconstructing Trauma.

Here is the Formula.

Equal Footing +> Accountability +> Self-Control (Personal Law, Rules, and Boundaries) +> Self-Regulation +> Self-Authority +> Courage.

These are the 6 Ethics Backwards. Again, that is:

Equal Footing
Accountability
Self-Control (Personal Law, Rules, and Boundaries)
Self-Regulation
Self-Authority
Courage

When you follow the 6 Ethics Backwards following ANY trauma, you are actually deconstructing Trauma in your mind and turning the Trauma into a lesson, restoring your control and power, and taking control of your life so that you can “get back on the horse” and try again (Courage).

We’re going to break this down step by step.

Equal Footing

This is the stage in abuse where you realize that you were at the Disadvantage AND/OR you were abused as someone who was at the Disadvantage. Something was done to put you at the Disadvantage, which took your Power, Authority, and Control away from you.

Accountability

This is the Stage where you TAKE your Control back by saying, “How did *I* get myself into that Situation?” and “What did *I* do that led to me being in that Situation where I COULD be hurt?” If you were a child during the time of abuse, this thought process would go, “Nothing. I was a CHILD, but I am NOT a child anymore.” So then you ask, “What can I do NOW to ensure that this DOES NOT happen again?” and “What do *I* need to learn to keep me safe in the future?”

Self-Control (Personal Law, Rules, and Boundaries)

The answer is always, “I need to use Discernment, make a better decision about who has access to me and DENY ACCESS to people who hurt me even if they mean well.” This is when you make up rules FOR YOU to follow. NOT for you to enforce on other people. Enforcement is controlling others. Self-Law is Self-Control. It’s asking yourself, “What choices can *I* make to keep me safe?” And it is up to you to OBEY your OWN LAWS. It is also all about being honest with yourself when YOU violate YOUR rules. Narcissists WILL not do this.

Self-Regulation

This is the 3rd Ethic, when you administer your Self-Care and you reflect on your current needs to restore Control to your own life through YOUR choices over you. After all, that is what was taken from you. Your ability to practice your own Self-Choice.

Self-Authority

Withdraw and Reflect. Spend time with yourself and loved ones. Nurture yourself. Do things you love. This is the stage where Self-Care now enters into the Healing Journey. Did you notice that there are 6 Stages of Deconstruction and only one stage is Self-Care? Many people will do nothing but this last stage. Many will gorge themselves on Self-Care as a remedy to trauma. Here, you can see the full Outline of the Steps required to Deconstruct Trauma.

Courage

Have the Courage to try again. Put your New Boundaries and New Personal Laws to the test. Get back on the horse and get back out there. Try again.

How effective is this?

I was raped May 2023 and I used this method on myself. I was back on my feet in 10 DAYS after because I had this Strategy. That is how effective this Deconstruction of Trauma is. it is a SKILL. Treat it as such! It will take practice to master.

Keeping your need to Pursue Control off of others is vital to your own Empowerment. The more we “Help” others, the more we project our own Control onto others. “Help” disguises Control and Displaced Responsibility.

Displaced Responsibility is at the core of this problem. “Helping” others focuses your attention onto the problems of others and makes you a player in their life, regardless of how seemingly “small” your “help” may be. Because “helping” is still your Mind (Perspective) being Projected into Their Problem… And that is the Problem. The more we try to Problem Solve for others, we stand in their Stories. And now we have Displaced Responsibility.

The real damage is,

1 – You are not practicing Self-Authority or Self-Control (You thinking about YOUR problem)

2 – You are now standing in THEIR problem and THEIR story (You thinking about THEIR problem)

3 – You are DEPRIVING them of the OPPORTUNITY to PRACTICE the Problem Solving Skill… And THAT is the real problem.

“Help” disables their ability to Practice the Problem Solving Skill.

Practicing the Problem Solving Skill EMPOWERS Self-Authority and Self-Control… unless and until you do it for someone else.

Only focus on your own Problems and only solve your own Problems. Only work on your own Problems. Unless money/resources are evenly traded for that skill, do not do it.

Tomorrow, we talk on “Idolizing.” The Pitfall of the Absence of Self-Authority.

The Healing Garden News and Announcements Board!

This is the space where Anna pins things on the News and Announcements Board so you always know what Events and upcoming Activities are available for your Resources! To view The Full List of News and Announcements, Go here.

1 – Play The Game and join this RPG/Pokemon-Go Styled Quest Line to enhance your Healing Journey and Pilgrimage “The Nerd Way” Learn More

2 – The Healing Reformation and the Radical Global Healing Plan has begun! We are changing the way The World does Healing, Education, Economics, and Business! Learn More

3 – The Healing Garden’s HEALING CYBER-CONVENTION and Saturnalia is in August! Join this All-In-One Healing Resource Oasis and Encompass a New Way of Healing! Learn More

The Healing Garden is a portion of Alexandria City located within The Abstract. It’s easy to get lost. If ever you lose your way around The Healing Garden or Alexandria, you may always access the Directory. There is a lot to do here and a lot to offer. Options are Freedom.

https://www.hmsalexandria.org/the-directory/

Can’t get enough of The Healing Garden? Want more? Visit The Respite Center for Triadic Healing and more games and challenges to aid in your Healing and/or Pilgrimage! 100% of The Healing Garden is designed around the Nurturing and Propagation of The 12 Ethics.

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May the kindest of words always find you.

Anna S. Imagination

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People who struggle with Addiction usually are Apprentices with the first Ethical Skill Courage. Consider discussing this with a professional. We gently encourage you to seek out a professional to guide you through the 12 Ethical Email Challenge. And Warmest Love to you on your Healing Journey.

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