Hello my, beautiful sunshine people!
Before we dive into the 4th Ethic, I want to take a moment and invite any Business Owners to The Healing Garden’s LinkedIN Group:
Turn your Business into A Healing Engine : Ethical Alternatives For The Entrepreneur/Business Owner
This group is for any Business Owner who want to join The Healing Garden’s Radical Global Healing Plan for the Healing Reformation. If you have a business, and you are wanting to join The Healing Garden to hook your business up to The Healing Engine, please join us. The Healing Garden and a Fleet of Businesses are all coming together to raise the Ethical Standards of Mental Health and are taking an active role toward Nurturing the Mental Health of our Patrons!
If you are interested, please join the group! (Link Above).
Now! The 4th Ethic! Self-Control!
Self-Law and Personal Boundaries.
Many of us do not know what “boundaries” are. The best way to communicate boundaries to you is through story.
Imagine that, once upon a time, you went on safari to the jungles of India. You pushed through the jungles and came to a clearing that you knew was riddled with lions. You have your cameras and your film. You’re excited! You break camp, build a wooden wall around your encampment, and then you settle in. Hours pass and you decide to cook your dinner. But instead of cooking within the encampment, you decide to enjoy the freedom of the open jungle, and you cook outside the wall.
You break out your home grill (you are glamping), and you’re grilling your dinner… when a tiger approaches.
You turn, and a pride of lionesses close in on you.
So you turn to them and loudly say, “You are making me feel very uncomfortable, and I would appreciate it if you don’t do that.”
This is not Boundary Setting.
The reason why this does not work is because it only works if the lions share the same ethics as you. They don’t. So your “words of warning” are a joke to them. And they laugh.
Most people do this. Some shout louder.
“I have asked you not to stop!” you shout at the lion pride, which is getting closer.
What do you do?
Most people would still continue to shout at the lion.
“I’m warning you! Stop it!”
And then, after the lion mauls them, they are baffled.
Later, friends and family sit with them in the hospital. You explain, perplexed, “I set my boundary! They didn’t listen! What did I do wrong? I don’t understand!”
You assumed the lions cared.
You assumed the lions had ethics.
You assumed the lions valued you.
You did not use Discernment.
Boundaries are useless without Discernment. If these were lions who did care about you, they never would have made you feel uncomfortable to begin with.
Let us recall Stranger Things when Will Byers in Season #2, turns to the… Thing… and screams “GO AWAY!” Moments later, it consumes him.
Are you like Will? Most of us are like Will.
Your rules and boundaries are not for others. They are for YOU to follow. Your boundaries are not for others. They are for YOU to follow. No words necessary. YOU need to walk your butt behind the wall and DENY THE LIONS ACCESS.
If you do not have a wall, you need to get one.
If you cannot, then you need to MOVE.
If you have, then you need to stop ANSWERING THEIR CALLS AND TEXTS.
Maybe you should not set up encampment near a lion’s pride, and yet, so many of us do.
Narcissists and Abusers do not CARE about us. If they did then you would not need BOUNDARIES to begin with.
The people who are your people, are the people who are so awesome to you that they live with you in your encampment in peace.
Many of us instead have invited the lions into the encampment.
Another problem that is common, is people keep trusting lions and sharks. When the lions and the sharks bite them, the people then say, “I can’t trust people!”
No. You can. You have to use Discernment to make sure you are not trusting lions and sharks.
Discernment is the Skill set of Assessing People on their Reliability, intentions, and Trustworthiness. Or lack thereof.
The Assessment Skill is very important for Emotional Regulation, and I cover that later in the Skill Building Course.
It is really important that you not put Love before Trust.
Or Friendship before Trust.
Trust comes AFTER they have proven themselves a Friend.
I spent the afternoon building the Emotional Regulation Course! THIS!! This is something I have been planning for two years, and it finally came together today!
I am still in the process of building it. IF you have any emotions that you want reverse engineered and broken down, let me know which ones and I’ll do so! As Emotions come in, they will be added! This course includes the formula of how to regulate emotions, which is :
“I feel X. I need to do Y.”
May the Kindest of Words always find you,
Warmest wishes,
Anna Imagination
The Healing Garden
If you are ready to ACTIVATE the next ACTION in this Chain Reaction, visit The Philosopher’s Fountain where you can evaluate the Doors of Opportunity that The Healing Garden provides.
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