I’m all over, aren’t I? That’s the Multiples inside of me. When you have 4 different conscious minds all pulling you in differ directions.
For me, Trauma Recovery has been a series of Mental exercise very similar to weight lifting. You’re squishy. You decide to work out. You feel the burn and exhaustion. You push through it. The next morning, you ache. Your body burns with pain. You drink protein shakes and soak in hot baths. You get a massage. You rest.
And then you do it all again.
I put myself through that emotional equivalent. Some people body build. I mental build. I can’t help it. It’s what I do.
The more I healed, the more things changed. The more things shifted inside me, the more the Jerry calmed inside me. The more my Id took the center stage. The more I quieted and muted the 3rd party voices in my head.
That became my routine.
Quiet the 3rd party voices. Refuse the Shame and guilt that wasn’t mine.
Soothe and calm the Jerry. Validate him, but take the steering wheel away. I sat him into the corner, wrapped him in a blanket, and gave him a hot beverage. A lot.
I pulled the fragile Id, my Angel, from the shadows. I led her to the wheel and listened. I taught her to speak. I taught myself to listen.
I did this all through Meditation AKA Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
Once I identified these three players in my subconscious, I was able to stop dancing like a puppet on the strings of a marionette. I began living. I could choose. I could be me.
And when that happened, The Alignment occurred.