Joanna sat at the table and dropped her head into her hands.
“You look exasperated,” Bergen said from the archway separating the dining room from the living space.
“I am,” Joanna said.
“Crazy weekend?”
“Every time I get somewhere, and I feel stability and safety, I think, ‘Oh. This is where I was trying to get to. This is my final destination…’ only to find out later that it was just a station for boarding and onboarding passengers. And I may spend a day or two at a station, a few months at a station… Before realizing, I’m on the train again, I’ve left the platform, and I arrive at the next station.”
“What great epiphany did you get to this time, lass?”
“There is… someone who I have been in love with since… 2020. Someone I have never mentioned to anyone. Not even my Number #1. And, last night, I realized that I do love him. A lot. As much as my Number #1. So much that I am now making plans to move to London for long periods during the year. As soon as I have the money, I’m going to him.”
Bergen smiled. Imagination turned from the door. Kallan raised her head. They all waited.
“Which means…” Joanna exhaled in surrender. “I am polyamorous. I love them both. I want them both. Guilt free and… I love them both.”
“Well… That changes everything doesn’t it?” Bergen said.
“I… it does,” Joanna said. “It changes how I view the world and my options… I will never… marry again and settle down. I value my single-ship too much. But also, I can’t… I have these two men. I love them both. With all my heart. I just love them. And… when they both come together, I feel… Complete. Satisfied. All these men and my god do I want sex.”
“I thought polyamorous meant having sex with whomever without standards,” Kallan said.
“You’ve come a long way, Joanna,” Imagination said. “A long, long way in just two years.”
“And he was there for all of it,” Joanna said. “How could I not see this? How could I not love him?”
“Slow, my love,” Imagination said. “Take it all in. Settle and sit in the change. Observe and accept.”
“Accept,” Joanna repeated.
“Count the ways…” Imagination said. “All the ways you have changed since then.”
“Two years ago…” Joanna said. “I was married, overweight, living in Central New York as a part time, minimum wage mother of three who couldn’t even go outside without panic attacks.”