The 12 Ethical Stages looks like, from Omniscient Point of View, A moving Spiral that moves like a corkscrew Counterclockwise under a Swinging Pendulum.
The Spiral takes 3 full swings of the Pendulum to complete a full 360 degree rotation around the spiral, resulting in 3 distinct Points on the Spiral.
- Indulge
- Avoid
- Integrate
In actuality, with the exception of the 1st Ethical Stage, the actual Points are
- Indulge/Integrate
- Avoid/Indulge
- Integrate/Avoid
With the Primary being first in priority.
When abuse happens, and this is important, which stage we are in is going to determine *where* our “Learning” and Swinging Pendulum gets stuck.
The Trauma is an Indulgence.
The Trauma is an Indulgence.
Specifically, The Trauma is nonconsensual Indulgence and/or nonconsensual Avoidance. When your Stored Potential Emotional Energy is maxed, and you are ready to “swing” and shift over to Avoidance, the Individual uses Self-Authority, Power of Choice, and Confidence to follow their Intuition into the next Ethical Perspective Shift.
But, if a Parent or an Abuser Interferes with that shift, the Individual is forced to Indulge past the Point of Consent. Or the Individual is forced to Shift and Avoid before they have had their fill. Self-Authority is taken away. The Power of Choice is violated. Self-Control is lost (the core of all Control issues).
As a result, Forced Scarcity or Forced Indulge results. We see this most often with a child being forced to go to school, learn and study well past their point of Consent.
Now you have Nonconsensual Education, forced Learning, and an Aversion to Learn and Grow. Thus, the Pendulum stops.
The Forced Invasive Perspective, which contradicts your Ethical Stage and your Natural Frequency disrupts your Natural learning and Frequency.
And your Growth will stop.
The child who is forced to Indulge on Structure grows up Indulging on Freedom and lacks all structure and discipline.
The child who is forced to Indulge on Religion and Family grows up estranged and isolated.
The child who is forced to Indulge on neglect and absent parents who provided no safety grows up indulging in over-parenting and enabling practices.
What all of these examples have in common is their lack of Integration and Movement in their Learning. Steps need to be taken to get to the point of Integration and Movement to be reinstated, and we will be covering that here in a later chapter.
BOOKMARK
Whatever Indulgence you were abused with, the Avoidance will become the False “Comfort Zone.” You will Avoid the Indulgence and the needed Integration. Hence, Black and White Thinking.
Stay there too long, and you become prejudiced in your thinking.
If you were abused while in the Comfort Zone, then you will Avoid the Adventure Zone and you will Exit “The Game” of Life and enter an Escape Room. You then become an Avoider.
People in this group tend to struggle with Depression, Addiction, pacifists, A lack of Direction or purpose in life, Self-Loathing, Stone-walling, Severe Introversion, Social Anxiety, and live with their parents.
If you were abused while in the Adventure Zone, then you will “Exit the Game of Life and you will enter the Fox Hole. You then become an Indulger or a Controller.
People in this group tend to be workaholics, struggle with Anger, advanced stages of Narcissism and/or Borderline Personality Disorder, Inability to relax, high-need to control through Taking Action.
Beginning these Ethical Stages, will lay the required Foundation and Groundwork for your Natural Healthy Human Behavior and Development that are currently missing from your Mental Structure.
In the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Ethics, you learn how to Comfort yourself. You Learn how to Self-Nurture by integrating and balancing Adventure, Comfort, and Exploration with Boredom, Excitement, and Self-Preservation.
You learn how to learn.
You learn how to use Power of Choice with Self-Authority.
In the 4th, 5th, and 6th Ethics, you learn how to use Personal Laws, Personal Rules and Order to develop Self-Control. You learn how to exercise your Power of Choice and how your Choices create results and consequences. You learn Self-Esteem and Pride, and thus Accountability and Equality. You Learn Self-Value.
In the 7th, 8th, and 9th Ethic, you learn how to engage with others via Sharing, Listening, and Effective Communication and Empathy. You learn how to connect with others through Emotional Transactions. How to protect and preserve your Self System while also preserving the System and Consents of others.
In the 10th, 11th, and 12th Ethics, you learn how to use Emotional Fluidity with Logical Navigation to utilize Self-Regulation and Emotional Discipline, and thus, upon the Integration of all Ethics, you come to learn that these 12 Ethics are the Components of Self-Love.
Here is a walkthrough, and a closer look into this Swinging Learning Metronome.
The 1st Ethical Perspective
Within the first year of life, we indulge in Comfort… We are the Silent Observer as we watch and observe. It’s the desire to run alongside people that inspires us to roll then crawl. Stand and move. It’s the CURIOSITY that compels us to explore and begin to venture further and further away from SAFETY.
It is the balance of SAFETY and ADVENTURE, CURIOSITY and Adventuring and Exploration that compels us forward. Until You Learn BOREDOM, the FIRST DISCOMFORT which MOTIVATES us to build COURAGE to overcome our FEAR to embrace VULNERABILITY.
The 2nd Ethical Perspective
This is the Learning Perspective. CURIOSITY explodes with EXCITEMENT for ADVENTURE. RESTLESSNESS abounds and MOTIVATES us to EXPLORE, propelled forward with our CURIOSITY. VULNERABILITY is welcomed to open us up to receive Education, Learning, and Human Connection.
Open to Receive is the First Law of the Emotional Transaction of Human Connection. Here we realize that Vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength and the ONLY point in which Human Connection is possible.
Vulnerability is us OPEN and only then can we love, connect, receive, and learn. RISK and DANGER may be practiced with disregard, increasing our sudden awareness to our need for INTEGRATED AND BALANCED COMFORT.
The 3rd Ethical Perspective
You Adventure until you Learn to APPRECIATE the COMFORT you avoid, which gives us RESPITE and REST, SAFETY that comes COMFORT.
The APPRECIATION of what we avoid leads with the LESSON OF BALANCE AND REGULATION, launch us into the 3rd Ethical Perspective where we CRAVE INDEPENDENCE with which to learn the INTEGRATION of these ETHICS.