Joshua. Something has happened to me that I need to share with you.
Today is my birthday. I am 43 years old. It is also Mother’s Day. And this Wednesday, on 10 May 2023, I was raped.
Someone who I thought was a friend, invited me to a spa to celebrate my birthday. The evening began with my having smoke a bowl, I ate 2 gummies at 125 mg Total, and no alcohol. I took the gummies around 9:00 PM.
Today, just now, I took the same dosage. The exact same dosage. And the 3 hour marked kicked in at about the time I started writing to you.
My heart beat is … 4:46… I took the gummies at 4:14.
That night, I took the gummies at 9:00… They kicked in by 10:00 while we were walking to the subway. And then we road the train to Eris… I was high when we got to the bar and I learned it was a surprise birthday party. My love. Juan. He was not there. I asked my friend why Juan was not invited and why wasn’t he there. I messaged Juan and invited him and then we got to the bar. It was 12:00.
I’m scared. I’ve been scared since Wednesday. Joshua. I was slipped a roofie that night. And I was taken down to the ground floor while intoxicated. I could not stand or walk on my own. I was that drugged and/or intoxicated. And everyone knew it. Everyone. The whole group.
While I lay on the floor unable to move, I writhed and pulled a man toward me. I rubbed my friend (female), and I kept moving on him… the thing is, a week prior, after a series of dates with THIS man, I had told him just a week prior that I was a lesbian and Juan is a man… which is why we broke up. But I’m in love with him. So in love with him. But I can’t. Yet, here I was that night grinding on a… MAN!? I. DON’T. TOUCH. MEN.
And yet. They have a recording of me begging them to touch me. Despite 6 months of hard documented journals and blogs about the healing process I use to recover from trauma. And, Joshua… I documented ALL OF IT. Since 2015 and on… All I have been doing is documenting my healing journey.
Which proves, if a licensed doctor could read and vouch for me. And confirm my findings… Doctor Joshua… I need you to read my material and diagnose me please. Please. Show me… Show them… Show the world that it works. That I found the cure to mental illness. Because I used it on me.
Joshua.
The man who raped me is an attorney. I have been raped by attorneys in the past. They are a unique type of rapist. They are logical and they have studied psychology while they sit in a position of power… Narcissistic Personality Disorder. And they use words and psychology to move the pieces around their puppet world to see just how they can control… Being a lawyer is a Narcissist’s wet dream.
Now… My theory is that this man who raped me… he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Which means his “Jerry” or his Emergency System runs on Fear and not Guilt. If you turn to Fear, you are a “Controller” who seeks to CHANGE THE OTHERS through any number of situations or people to feel safe by creating the illusion of safety. Fight.
If you turn to Guilt, you are an “Avoider” who seeks to escape in order to feel safe by CHANGING THE SELF by becoming the “invisible.” Flee.
The rare individual has both qualities. They are both A Controller and an Avoider. This is where Borderline Personality Disorder develops. To which the Attachment Style Disorganized-Anxious Attachment Style ensues. The Borderline forces you to reside on both metrics, which causes significant misaligned in the Cognitive Core. For the Borderline cannot be all avoidant or all controller. We are forced to choose sides making us more susceptible to alignment. And the Empath is born… made as a fail safe the subconscious sets off to protect the MIND from ITSELF.
Trauma is when the Subconscious Mind wages war against the SELF. And the Id, the INDIVIDUAL IS DIVIDED.
And how we Divide is what determines which mental illness you have. Are you a Fighter or a Runner? Second question: Which Attachment Style are you?
Me? I am Disorganized Attachment and I am BOTH a Fighter and a Runner.
Congratulations, Anna. You fall into the Borderline Category. Borderline is only caused by X, Y, and Z, which means x, y, and z DID happen to you. So just on the attachment style and fighter or runner, you can determine exactly what happened to a person, but most importantly, you can help them cure it by just altering the CORE beliefs in the Cognitive Core, and gently (not to fast), remove the belief. Slowly. When beliefs are altered too quickly, GRIEF occurs. Grief can be avoided if beliefs are altered slowly and gently.
THAT is how sensitive our Systems are the THE ENERGY. It is 5:13 PM. This is me HIGH with 2 gummies as info provided in the start of this letter. Joshua. I need you to tell them how smart I am. Please.
My IQ was 185 in 1995 when I was 15 years old. It has gone up since then. Please Joshua. Read my material and talk to me. Diagnose me. I’m going to need you when I take that fucking son of a bitch down.
Anna Imagination
PS… Is it 5:07 PM… I’m feeling groovy. Cognitive function is still exceptionally high. I’m feeling REALLY hungry. And dude… I am sooo floating! And I can still rationalize and talk psyche. I would love to tell you about my Rorschach Print Perspective.
5:14 PM n 14 May 14515
Oh… Numerology… I SEE it. I understand it now. I see the spiral. I am in the Vortex.