I’m scared sometimes… Not “Fear” scared… Worried-Scared about… I feel feelings in my body. It’s like I’m talking to multiple parts of my Mind. I feel like I walk in the park in comparison to “A Beautiful Mind.” My god I loved that movie… He saw the world like I saw the world… I wasn’t alone. I cried so much… because I wasn’t alone.
That was the time I realized, I was mentally ill. I cried for me. It’s an instant feeling of not being able to trust your own self. You question your perspective, Trust with yourself is immediately lost. This… is Humility.
It’s when you lose all trust with yourself. “You made THAT decision? You’re fucking crazy!”
But… If I were to say to you… “No… You’re fucking LOGICAL. And Here is how…” Then, HUMILITY is no longer a requirement for being OPEN MINDED TO HEALING.
So… You have an anger problem? An Addiction? Self-Esteem issues? Do you have… voices in your head? Does love make you want to hurt people? Do you have impulses and urges you can’t understand?
What if… You could understand?
Then you would KNOW…how to fix the problem.
Then you would FIX…the problem.
And suddenly, you understand that when you are talking to a person, you are talking to three parts: Their Conscious Awareness (god the son). The Identity (the holy spirit). And the Subconscious Mind (God the Father).
If I were the Goddess of Manifestation, I would have Manifested Books, and Lessons that would FASCINATE ME, so I would get curious, and learn, and grow… I would Manifest me finding these books… hell… I would manifest me living one life to scribble it all down… and then I would manifest a future me, 2,000 years on the future going, “Surprise! I’m back! I’m a girl!” which I would add as a nice “fuck you” to the Patriarchy. I guess you could say, His Majesty, The Imp King, has a sense of humor that has rubbed off on me.
Isn’t that the way of it… If I were the Goddess of Manifestation, I would make mermaids real. I would turn the world into a nature garden. And I would call it ANNA’S PLAY GROUND! It’s where my friends and I would meet for tea.
We would dress up, like a giant Holodeck, and we would choose our reality that day. Anything we wanted. I see a different world. I see… I am Imagination. I am Goddess of Manifestation. And through story, I will tell you mine. Fiction and dreams are the best tools for learning.
I must do nothing else but this for awhile.
Oh what dreams may come… Shakespeare… I am still very much in love with that man.