(Sociology and Psychology)
Dreams.
Baby Boomers are dream killers. And it left Gen X’s and Millennials at a significant handicap that we are still recovering from.
It isn’t their fault… And it is. They just “followed the rules.” And that is the problem. Mindless Obedience. Because “the rules say so.” Baby Boomers never internalized the 4th Perspective : Self-Government. This left them completely at the Mercy of the Rule Makers (of whom many are 3rd Perspectives seeking power and control).
I remember the day my Boomer father’s mindset changed… because “the rules” had changed. He had spent the first 15 years of my life adamant that “as a female” (calling a woman a “female” is equivalent to devaluing her importance and status as a human), I should only aspire to breed. I have no Identity if I don’t make “a good wife to a good man” and my sex belonged to him.
No expectations of college or “furthering my education” were placed on me. In fact, I was abused for being smarter than my brother, making me terrified of accepting my own intelligence. I took to studying and reading in secret.
In 1996, the societal rules changed, and suddenly, “Females were expected to get jobs too.”
My father’s song changed over night. I had plans and dreams to be a Composer and an Actress. Both dreams earned me more abuse as my father “worked hard” to push the Societal Expectation into my mindset. And I refused.
My Gen X brain could Self-Govern. I held myself Accountable (The 5th Stage of Growth), and I valued a person’s Free Will and Autonomy over my Opinions.
You know, I believe that that is what all of this boils down to. Which do you value? A person’s Autonomy and Freedom more or less than your own Opinion?
What you answer 100% is determined by which Stage of Growth you are in.
The Stages of Growth are Nature’s Evolutional Maturing of The Human Psyche… and VERY few people know about this. Yet, these Stages Govern 100% of our decisions, our the core reason for our Traumas and Abuse, and is the Silent War every one of us has fought since we were 2 years old.
Our Perspectives (Stages of Growth) are tolerate and allowed for the first 2 years of our lives, until the 3rd Stage is reached.
In fact, we deem this “The Terrible Two’s.”
The Terrible Two’s actually is only Terrible when a parent forces their Perspective and Societal Expectations onto a Human Person in the 2nd and 3rd Stage of Growth : Independence.
Before I elaborate on this example, let me introduce you to the 12 Stages of Growth (We’ll only follow the First 6 in this Course. After the 6 Stages of Growth are Internalized, Nature’s Path is re-established and everything runs on auto-pilot from there on.
THE STAGES OF GROWTH
Where are you? Where are your parents now? Where were your parents when you were growing up? Where are your siblings?
When we are born, we have two things that belong to us:
Our Authority
Our Identity
Most parenting interferes with these two VITAL Core elements of the self, and this cripples a Human Person. This is what is “wrong” with most of us. Our Authority is passed around to everyone except us. Our Identity is denied to make way for Societal Expectations.
Where the Authority is placed by the Individual determines which Stage of Growth you are at. In addition, in order to shift the Authority requires the internalization of an Ethic that the Individual has not yet internalized.
The Stages must be learned in order. So says Psychology and Nature.
Here they are:
1 – 1st Perspective
Authority is with the Caregiver (The Child’s Nurturer). Traditionally the Mother. What you are is 100% determined by how much you NEED someone to take care of you. If your self-regulation and needs are only met by someone else taking care of you, You never learned the 1st Ethic.
The Mental Illnesses that result from this are Addictions, Self-Mutilation, and Eating Disorders.
A Nurturer is *supposed* to be teaching a child between ages 0 to 2, how to Self-Regulate. Failure to do so, leaves an Individual forever in pursuit of A Supplement to their emotional needs.
Be aware of a romantic partner “who needs you.” Are you the romantic Partner who struggles self-comforting without an individual to turn to? You most likely never learned the First Ethic.
Self-Regulation.
2 – The Second Perspective – Resourcefulness
When this is Internalized, the Authority shifts to the Head of the Household or a religious god, or “A Man.” A Gang Leader, or a Union Leader. Also a Military Official. Your Value is 100% defined by the role you are assigned in this hierarchy. And without your religion/union/gang/kin/family, you are nothing.
Between the ages of 1 1/2 and 3, we are supposed to be learning our own Resourcessfulness. What skills do we have that we can turn into something. Imagination and Dreams, Wishes and Desires are the core of our Resourcefulness.
Our Providers are supposed to be teaching us this skill. (Traditionally the Father), but, in most cases, they don’t. Societal Expectations instead categorize our Genders : Girls must learn breeding skills. Boys must learn a trade.
This is where the “Grooming” begins where people with Vaginas are expected to be silent and obedient while people with penises are expected to “take charge.” And everyone follows the 4th Perspective “Head of the Household.”
This is where the devout religious stall out and rarely evolve beyond this point. If you study Sociology, Roman History, Theology, and Psychology, you will see how Rome embedded “The Fear of God” into Society, making Human People too terrified to grow beyond this stage.
The Human Person stuck at Stage #2 never takes responsibility. All “good” that happens is “because of god.” All “bad” that happens is because of Satan. This removes all Authority away from the Self who then never questions their own behavior… except to question their chances of “getting into heaven.”
Strict cultures like Asian cultures and Indian cultures, Jewish and Italian cultures are very much centered around the 2nd Perspective where “The Culture” holds the Authority. All decisions are only weighed in against “The Approval of the Parents.”
In religious families, all decisions are weighed in against “The Approval of the Parents/God/Church.”
Mafias and Gangs must “weigh in the approval of the mob boss.”
My 2nd Perspective Brother who is a Construction Workers, will not leave his poor paying job because “Then I’ll be a traitor and a scab,” he says. The Union determines his decisions. He has surrendered all Authority to The Tribe he feels “indebted” to.
2nd Perspectives believe that Their Boss (whether it be union, husband, or god) should be obeyed by all. Everything is the extreme Black and White Trauma thinking “Right or Wrong” and, in most cases, the 2nd Perspective follows the Voice of the 4th Perspective Head of the Household.
Mental Illnesses that result are Mob Mentality, Low Self-Esteem, Self-Loathing, and a lack of Belonging. In most cases, they also failed to learn the first Perspective: Self-Regulation and this is where they stall out.
To embrace education and growth is to abandon their god, religion, culture, or family and so… for the sake of Belonging, 2nd Perspectives stay. They are the least likely to grow beyond their current stage because the risk (in their perspective) grossly outweighs the reward… which they think they have (usually) by staying true to their Boss.
The problem is, they are 100% reliant on others and never experience the joy and freedom of Self-Reliance.
3… The Third Perspective … Lord of The Flies
I will be concluding this here for now and continuing this shortly.
Think about your family. Your partner. Your self. Does anyone you know fall under the 1st or 2nd categories?
This is a Sample of Triadic Healing.
To learn more about Triadic Healing, CLICK HERE to CHANGE NOW with Anna and schedule a call so we can discuss how Triadic Healing can upgrade the Parenting of your Children and/or Your Inner Child.
