I just got off the phone with a friend and… so much… I realized so much. I explained to him that I have had a frequency, one frequency all of my life. And I’m tuned into it. It’s part of me. It is MY NOTE. I used to be a musical composer. I studied music […]
This is not a “Dear NIMH” kind of letter, but, I found it to be quite relevant in my on-going research. Joy from my work comes to me two-fold. There is the work I see in my Self that leaves me nodding with affirmation saying, “Okay. This is it.” And there is the change and […]
When you locate and remove an old belief that was never yours, it completely alters your perspective. You could feel disoriented for awhile. You may experience a period of “Adaptation” where your entire System adjusts to the change. This happened to me last weekend shortly after another massive Shift, and the recovery time on this […]
“Is it so bad to want and value a Nakama?” I screamed into the dark. I value family and kin. I value a crew! And I need a crew where I’m going! I’m humble enough to know I can’t do this alone, and I want him! Is that so bad? People telling me to get […]
Going to therapy in those early days was like boot camp in reverse. It was like extraction. It was. I felt weak and feeble. Frail and lost. Confused. That’s what happens when your reality has been altered. I will say a million times over, that trauma survival, recovery, endurance, thriving is only a war over […]
I recall those early therapy days. The emotion was intense, hot, painful, and raw. It was chaos. I cried and screamed so much and for so long. Like every part of my subconscious bled. There is a process. An order of things. Every process is different. That’s the problem. The Psychological System today is built […]
This is Joanna. There is also the Jerry. The Jerry is the Fear Police in our minds. I first heard the term “Fear Police” from Dr. Aziz Gazipura’s book “Not Nice.” READ IT. That is your first homework assignment. I had my own “Fear Police.” In a Multiple mind, I could speak to my “Fear […]
“They always did say to leave the best for last.” Bergen winks and spreads out on his chair. “We need to catch you up to the game. Joanna and I have been wrestling for power for quite some time now. 2015 is when I started getting up in her face. There was signs of me […]
I’m Joanna. I am what you would call “The Host” or “The Protector.” I was born in 1995. I had a near-death experience. I woke up as Joanna. I stood there with Erik looking at my body while the two boys (dumb fucks) poured water down my throat to keep me alive. When I woke, […]
Hi. I’m Kallan. I prefer the Witch Queen. Fae Queen. That is my real name. Anna named me Kallan after her book character, Kallan. I am the BDSM Mistress. The purple leather jacket belongs to me. I am the logic of Anna’s brain. One might say I’m the Ego, but that would be Bergen. “I […]
