Finding Me

Finding Me is the sequel to Broken and depicts the Recovery Stage from April 2015 tp 16 February 2023.

Finding Me

Frequency Dancing

I just got off the phone with a friend and… so much… I realized so much. I explained to him that I have had a frequency, one frequency all of my life. And I’m tuned into it. It’s part of me. It is MY NOTE. I used to be a musical composer. I studied music […]

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Finding Me

Dear NIMH

This is not a “Dear NIMH” kind of letter, but, I found it to be quite relevant in my on-going research. Joy from my work comes to me two-fold. There is the work I see in my Self that leaves me nodding with affirmation saying, “Okay. This is it.” And there is the change and

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Finding Me

Beliefs

When you locate and remove an old belief that was never yours, it completely alters your perspective. You could feel disoriented for awhile. You may experience a period of “Adaptation” where your entire System adjusts to the change. This happened to me last weekend shortly after another massive Shift, and the recovery time on this

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Finding Me

Chapter 27

“Is it so bad to want and value a Nakama?” I screamed into the dark. I value family and kin. I value a crew! And I need a crew where I’m going! I’m humble enough to know I can’t do this alone, and I want him! Is that so bad? People telling me to get

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Chapter 17

Going to therapy in those early days was like boot camp in reverse. It was like extraction. It was. I felt weak and feeble. Frail and lost. Confused. That’s what happens when your reality has been altered. I will say a million times over, that trauma survival, recovery, endurance, thriving is only a war over

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Chapter 16

I recall those early therapy days. The emotion was intense, hot, painful, and raw. It was chaos. I cried and screamed so much and for so long. Like every part of my subconscious bled. There is a process. An order of things. Every process is different. That’s the problem. The Psychological System today is built

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Chapter 15

This is Joanna. There is also the Jerry. The Jerry is the Fear Police in our minds. I first heard the term “Fear Police” from Dr. Aziz Gazipura’s book “Not Nice.” READ IT. That is your first homework assignment. I had my own “Fear Police.” In a Multiple mind, I could speak to my “Fear

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Chapter 14

“They always did say to leave the best for last.” Bergen winks and spreads out on his chair. “We need to catch you up to the game. Joanna and I have been wrestling for power for quite some time now. 2015 is when I started getting up in her face. There was signs of me

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Chapter 13

I’m Joanna. I am what you would call “The Host” or “The Protector.” I was born in 1995. I had a near-death experience. I woke up as Joanna. I stood there with Erik looking at my body while the two boys (dumb fucks) poured water down my throat to keep me alive. When I woke,

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Chapter 12

Hi. I’m Kallan. I prefer the Witch Queen. Fae Queen. That is my real name. Anna named me Kallan after her book character, Kallan. I am the BDSM Mistress. The purple leather jacket belongs to me. I am the logic of Anna’s brain. One might say I’m the Ego, but that would be Bergen. “I

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