Going to therapy in those early days was like boot camp in reverse. It was like extraction. It was.
I felt weak and feeble. Frail and lost. Confused. That’s what happens when your reality has been altered.
I will say a million times over, that trauma survival, recovery, endurance, thriving is only a war over perspectives.
During the initial trauma, your abuser attacks your perspective and maybe also your body. But first and foremost, it is your perspective that is under attack.
After the trauma, you have confusion and doubt because you aren’t sure what just happened… because they attacked your perspective.
During prolonged trauma, your perspective is attacked multiple times. It’s ripped apart and maimed. It’s suppressed and another perspective is forced onto you in it’s place.
With multiple abusers, multiple perspectives are forced onto you in place of your own.
Your ability to perceive and judge are taken from you. Buried with your perspective.
And when you reach Awakening, you finally arrive at two truths: 1 – You are sick. 2 – Your perspective (which, in truth, is the perspectives of your abusers), is wrong.
Therapy is just unbending your mind and twisting it all back so that you can find your own perspective again and reclaim it.
Gaslighting is the number #1 form of perspective abuse. We all scream about how bad gaslighting is, but very few of us knows how gaslighting is so bad.
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Perspective is all about our Truth. It is philosophy. And it is going to take philosophy to get it back.
I see us all looking at each experience in our lives through a Rorschach Print… And I keep this thought in my head always. ALWAYS. So that when someone around me reacts, blows up, internalizes, withdraws, cries, lashes out, or gets hurt, I can see them and think “What are you seeing in your Rorschach Print?”
But if we are all just looking through Rorschach Prints, then it is only ever our perspective that can be altered. If only I could see what you see, then I would know how to show you what I see. And then we would understand each other.
As a result, I’m calm often and very forgiving. Nothing rattles me. I know who I am and where I am always. I am seated on a pillar looking at a Rorschach Print. That is where I am. And I see everyone. I see you.
You also are seated on a pillar looking through a Rorschach Print. Sometimes, people can trap others in their Rorschach Prints. This is where trauma breeds.
The thing is… In the end, How threatening really is a Rorschach Print? Not at all. It’s just Perspective and Abstract Thought.
There is only ever my Rorschach Print, Your Rorschach Print, and Reality. The trick is learning how to look past the Rorschach Print and just see the untainted, unaltered Reality. Truth.
My biggest flaw is not being patient with people who are ADAMANT that their Rorschach Print is real.
I sigh and pull out Don Quixote’s Mirror Of Reality.
Side note, religion is just someone else’s Rorschach print that they have forced you to look through.
The Rorschach Print is Cognitive Distortion.