“Is it so bad to want and value a Nakama?” I screamed into the dark.
I value family and kin. I value a crew! And I need a crew where I’m going! I’m humble enough to know I can’t do this alone, and I want him! Is that so bad?
People telling me to get over him and move on.
That others will satisfy me more!?
The most miserable I am is when he isn’t in my life! He makes it better! He’s just… He’s the sprinkles to my life! And where I’m going, I’m going to need those damn sprinkles! DAMN IT! Tribble wasn’t replaceable! Why do people think that people are so damn replaceable?
I’ve had dozens of cats and not one was the same. Not one! Since Tribble, I haven’t been the same. She changed me. Well, he is my Tribble! He is like that. He is not replaceable and I am so SICK and tired of people talking about spouses and partners like, “Oh! Throw that one away. You can just get another.” NO! I refuse! This is my ethic and this mindset is what is making me so fucking miserable because… Because it isn’t right! It goes against my ethic!
No! I can’t just go and find another Number #1! He is it! Him! It has to be him! Now leave me the fuck alone world and let me figure out how to heal he and I! Damn it! Focus!