Naming this Chapter was a challenge. 

I couldn’t walk around calling it “The Narcissist escape” because some people who do live with Narcissists would be severely abused for reading this book. 

So I had to hide the title to protect them. And I had to market it so the ones who needed it would find it. 

Narcissism is a language. It is a Mindset. That is all it is. Words, Mindsets, the Subconscious Mind… These are the weapons of choice of a Narcissist. 

I am talking to you from the Outside. I have been on the Inside. I was there for 43 years. On 17 December 2023, I finally rid the last of it from my mind. 

I would say that it was easy. ONCE I knew what to look for. 

The secret is… you have to have EVERYTHING about Narcissism SO MUCH that you PURGE IT ALL. 

This book teaches you how to PURGE IT ALL. 

In April 2024, I found myself, yet again, around another Narcissist. She had slipped into my life completely under the radar. This time, it took me a few weeks to see it. 

I “took some time away” from her. 

And when I came back to her, I FELT it. I felt it all and I saw it. With the help of my other friends, I was able to Reverse Engineer Narcissism and nail down the specifics of what it is, what they are doing. How it works. All of it. 

In December 2023, upon writing “The Narcissist Cure,” I watched the people around me change almost overnight. 

You only defeat Narcissism when you look for it in yourself. 

You fall susceptible to Narcissism when you look for it in others. 

Narcissism only affects Narcissists.

Everyone else is IMMUNE to Narcissism and is intolerant of it. Build up an Immunity, and you escape it and will never fall susceptible to it again.

If you are affected by Narcissism, it is because you HAVE it in you. The ONLY cure is focusing on the Narcissism inside of you. The moment you FOCUS ON OTHERS, you nurture Narcissism. 

The key is to Mind only yourself. Every thought you have in your head that thinks “Yeah, but…” is Narcissism. Narcissism ends when you say, “I will Problem Solve and save myself. Now what is the Solution?” And you commit to the Resolve that you will not tolerate any less than this from yourself. 

Narcissism is a kind of Mental Virus that only affects people who don’t mind their own business. People who Gossip breed Narcissism.  

If you’re serious about wanting to be free of Narcissism, if you’re serious about wanting to escape it once and for all, then you are going to have to do the work to change the mindset. 

What do you hate more? The Suffering of Narcissism? Or the work and responsibility it will take you to change? 

If you have ever used the words, “They are a Narcissist,” and have suspected or accused others of Narcissism, then you have it. 

Narcissism has 4 Stages. The first 2 Stages are Invisible to the Self and to 3rd Parties. But the 3rd Stage is Invisible to the Narcissist. 

Riddle out the logic of that sentence.  

People are Mirrors. We absorb those around us. Arguing about “Who started it?” or “Who was the Narcissist first?” is like a bunch of mirrors in a hall of mirrors asking who was the first to reflect.

The answer is pointless and the pursuit of the answer is Narcissism.

Blame

Responsibility

Shame

Power and Control

That is at the heart of Narcissism. 

***

Narcissists have their own language, unique ONLY to Narcissists. The language is the source of their power. Learn the Language, STOP USING their language, and you get out. 

In this book, you will learn the language. You will learn how to recognize it in others. 

“I could feel my mind change just by talking to her in that hour. Like it had to submit to her. Like she was in charge and held power over me. And my mind thought, “oh, I have to submit to that power.” 

And that is when I realized that Power is an Emotion.

“She kept saying, “We” as if I was part of the Choices she made for me. I listened to her talk about things I knew nothing about, but she kept talking about the choices “We” made, which I was ignorant of and not privy to. 

She used “We” to touch my Power, take it for herself, and then run however she wanted with it. She weaponized the word “We.”

“My mothers always spoke of herself in the 3rd Person. Especially when she did something that was too Unethical for her to accept. It took me 29 years to find the answer to this question. “Why did she talk about herself in the 3rd Person?” 

Because she violated her own Ethics and she couldn’t live with the Guilt, so she used 3rd Person to escape and avoid the responsibility.”

“It’s in the “I.” It’s in the Choice. It’s in the Ethics. It’s in the Responsibility. It’s in the Authority and the Power. It is why Enabling is so toxic. Narcissism Attacks the “I,” the Choice, the Power, the Authority, and the Ethics.”

Establish your Control Group

A Control Group is your Narcissist-Free Center that is intolerant of Narcissism. If you do not have these people in your life, then you will first need to rid the Narcissist from you before you find Friends who are Narcissist Free. 

If you attract Narcissists, it is because you are still using the Language that attracts them. Complaining attracts Narcissists. That is how you find them. Gossiping attracts Narcissists. That is how they find you.