This is one subject that really hits home for me.
I am a recovered Narcissist. I had both Types: Caregiver and Damsel, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Codependency. Stage #2 in Damsel. Stage #3 in Caregiver.
Overcoming these was not easy until I found the Core of the problem.
For me, it was the Pursuit of Love buried behind the Addiction to Control to prevent Pain while also attempting to obtain and possess Love while also lacking Trust.
I was a mess.
The process began with a realization that I had Narcissism. What it really is on the Inside is NOT AT ALL what we are told it looks like on the Outside. So I dedicated much of my time to scanning for Stage #3 Damsel Narcissism, oblivious to the other Stages and Types… Oh, and by the way, Narcissism is INVISIBLE to the Narcissist.
It is Invisible because we are not taught what it really looks like in the Inside.
Once I identified the Inside Characteristics, I was able to identify the Ethics that opposed Narcissism. This eliminated 1/3rd of the Symptoms. This did a lot to begin the Alignment Work.
Five months later, the second thing I did, was to Identify The Language unique. to Narcissism. It is the Language that attracts Narcissists and repels non-Narcissists, so I began to pull apart the language. This eliminated Narcissists around me within 2 months. I cannot begin to explain how powerful this move was.
Once I was able to eliminate and “cleanse” the Narcissists around me, I changed my Language entirely, which attracted Healthy and Ethical Self-Aware people.
The Third thing that I changed was the most powerful, but I will also say, without addressing the first two problems, I never would have been able to access this last Stage. I stopped pursuing Love. I stopped Desiring it. I stopped looking for it. I stopped wanting it. It came when I realized that “Love” is a symptom of something much greater and far more important. It is the same pursuit a Dirty Salesman adopts when they Pursue the Money without the Emotional Transaction with the Buyer.
To pursue Love without regard to the Individual you seek Love from is to pursue Money without regard to the Individual you seek Money from. Love and Money will not come to you by Ethical means.
The more I realized that I was most unhappy in life when I pursued Love, the more I felt sick and disgusted about Love. The more I pursued Love, the less I focused on my Partner. When you pursue Love, you miss the point entirely. This Philosophy made me feel Disgust at Love. And in an instant, I wanted nothing more than to throw it away and reject it.
Disgust.
The Pursuit of Ethics was my secret to this success.
I learned a long time ago that when you desire an Ethical Philosophy, and you prioritize that Ethical Philosophy above all else, the Subconscious Mind does something that most people are unaware of: Disgust and Self-Preservation become hard wired into you to Keep you Safe.
So, I adopted Ethics on purpose that Contradicted Narcissism. I adopted Ethics on purpose that Contradicted Unethical Choices. I adopted Ethics on purpose that Contradicted Mental Illness and Toxic Behavior.
For every new Ethic I adopted, I manifest using my Power Manifestations new Agendas, Ethics, Lessons, Goals, and Healing that came in powerful waves of Transformation.
And I used Courage to open myself up to receive the change with Vulnerability.
I have the script if you wish to use them for yourself.
I also invite you to join become a Healing Garden Member where you can gain access to my monthly me Power Manifestations and Masterclasses with Q&A.